At the beginning of every new year, I always find myself hoping to do more personal writing.
And at the end of every old year, I realise once again how very few times this desired event actually took place during the preceding 12 months – because the coming-together of time, energy and inspiration just didn’t happen in the manner required for me to summon the muse comfortably and effectively.
2023 was another phenomenally busy year, and this time around, it had a lot to do with getting Liam through his final year of school, and for my part changing jobs.
Liam off to write his final matric exam – no wonder he looks so happy!
(I hope to update my records for 2023 in full, but my record-keeping for the family is lagging a bit right now… so that’s a story for another time. Quite literally!)
Anyway, here I am again, reflecting simultaneously on the past year (in which I didn’t do very much personal writing at all, oh dear), while anticipating the wonderful blank canvas of a brand new one still waiting to be created.
Last night’s New Year’s Eve was another quiet and peaceful affair my side – for which I am grateful.
In other words, I didn’t go anywhere, and instead of being rowdy and metaphorically (or actually) dancing on tables, was able to enjoy, instead:
A sedate evening involving some time on the balcony watching the sky change colour from day to night (my perennially-favourite time of day);
A few hours of good Netflix bingeing; and
A moderate (non-bingeing) consumption of dry white wine.
While sitting on the balcony in the early evening, I had a feeling that we were experiencing the calm before the storm: as though the city was holding its breath (or perhaps having a short energy-recharging snooze?) before the midnight revelling and fireworks began in earnest.
Quiet and peaceful as the Christmas lights change colour and Joburg holds its breath
And so I supped my wine and did some peaceful pondering on life, the universe and my List of Things For Which I Am Grateful.
Pondering the universe, peacefully, with wine
And another new list – which I’m calling ‘The Six Fs’ – popped into my head.
I realised in a serendipitous moment that instead of making new year’s resolutions, everything I would like to achieve (or continue crafting / enjoying) in life during the next 12 months, can be encapsulated within the following words beginning with F:
Family / Friends: We should always make time;
Fur-babies: They offer us the truest unconditional love, and I need to continue with walking, brushing, cuddling and enjoying them, mindfully;
Lucy: the furriest of fur-babies…
Finances: Carry on with the plans that are already in place – no major need to reinvent the wheel;
Fitness: Just continue with more of the same; it’s already a decent work in progress;
Fun: With family and friends, as well as in a solitary manner also, as required; and
Holiday fun with my boys
Fresh: fresh air, fresh food, fresh outlooks on life… fresh writing to be recorded…
And so onward into 2024.
Perhaps a new Feline could also be added into the mix, in due course, to top up the fur-babies in the home – it would make Lucy very happy to have another small ‘Sheepie-Sheep’ to herd, but let’s see…
Lucy and Mischief – hoping for a new ‘Sheepie-Sheep’ in 2024?
In this still relatively new year, I am happy to report (see what I did there?) that I’m feeling relatively content.
I am, in fact, cautiously optimistic.
This is par for the course with me, of course, being known to my friends as something of the Silver Linings Poster Child, but considering the current state of my finances – here again I am a Poster Child, but this time for the Janu-Worry Brigade – I think it’s rather commendable.
Silver linings: Image by PublicDomainPictures, Pixabay
Like parents all over the country, our teenage boys returned to school earlier this month for a new school year, and like many others, we were – massively – caught on the hop by those back-to-school factors that affect even the best parental planner in, shall we say, a stressful manner.
Let me outline, for those readers who may not (yet?) be familiar with the Back-to-school Panic Period, how one’s finances are liable to be disrupted – and the resultant stress it can cause…
Image: Geralt, Pixabay
Input: Grade 10 school camp (payment due)
Comment (Inwardly): “Argh, my head-in-the-sand ostrich approach on this one soooooo did not work.”
Comment (Out loud): “Don’t worry sweetheart, it’s all paid up and confirmed.”
Comment (Inwardly):“I seriously think we’re looking at many days of beans on toast for dinner coming up between now and month end. Oh well; I work in the communications field; I will just have to find a way to present it as the latest health fad, or something… and not just that we are heading into Broke Territory…”
Image: Pixel1, Pixabay
Input: Textbooks and stationery
Comment (Inwardly): “Dear Lord, I hardly *ever* treat myself to a new book for the pure joy of reading, and here I am watching the money I borrowed from the bank – expressly for additional going-back-to-school purposes – going up in flames every time we set foot in another Preferred Supplier venue.”
Comment (Out loud): “Okay we’ve gone through the lists; at least we can double up a bit on Child Number #Two using Child Number #One’s former textbooks that we saved from previous years; aren’t we just clever and organised! Let’s see what the other parents are saying on the WhatsApp group – oh look, someone is selling this one second-hand for a fraction of the price… Ah man, gone already to someone quicker than us…
“Okay we’ll get them each their new relevant Shakespeare copies in February, and for now they can just use these two anthologies that have been on the bookshelves for decades…. Luckily we’ve got two; one each; quite impressive really that Shakespeare is still on the school curriculum…
“I wonder when schools, in their wisdom, stopped supplying the textbooks; I’m sure it wasn’t like this when we were kids; I don’t remember my parents running around like (bleepity bleep) manic idiots every January, do you… ?
“What, MORE books that we forgot about? Aren’t we (bleepity bleep) done already?
“NO I’M AFRAID THIS IS YOUR SHAKESPEARE COPY FOR THE MOMENT please just be GRATEFUL that we’ve been able to make a plan; here is your anthology, and here is your Shakespeare anthology, and just remember that we still need to eat between now and the end of January and why the (bleepity beep) do we have two copies of Romeo and Juliet on the shelf that no one at all is using this year, and zero copies of The Tempest (bleep)?”
“Are we done yet? Are we really and truly finally done? Oh… well done us! (High-five-ing moment)
“And now I think I deserve some wine…”
Image: beauty_of_nature, Pixabay
Input: School uniform
Request:“Mom, please can you get our blazers dry-cleaned before we go back?”
Comment (Inwardly): “Ack, in this particular instance I think I preferred things – at least from a financial perspective – when you were both little grubs who didn’t care about keeping your uniforms nice…”
Comment (Out loud): “Yes of course love, well remembered and thanks for reminding me in time; we’ll go today.”
Comment (Inwardly): “At least their uniforms miraculously still fit from late last year and the growth spurts seem to have slowed down a bit… for now…”
And so, on the first day of school, the haircuts came later, but the blazers were immaculate
School lunches
Comment (Inwardly, of course):“My darling, are you quite, quite sure that you actually need three square meals a day? Could we perhaps start looking at just one? And you can eat it at school so you can have brain nourishment for your lessons?
“Also, are you quite, quite sure that you don’t have a tape worm? How is it possible for you to eat so much and not put on any weight at all around your middle? Why are you, in fact, getting thinner? How I wish it was me…
“What is your secret? Can we bottle it and allow me to A. lose the excess weight around my own middle? and B. sell the bottled product and finally make the small fortune that will allow me to live in the style to which I’d like to become accustomed – while flaunting my tiny, toned middle all over social media advertising, of course?”
Comment (Out loud): “Sweetheart, what fruit do you want me to buy for extra snacks? And by the way it needs to be grown, packaged and transported locally. And we are supporting our local greengrocer, and not the expensive retail chain that I don’t shop at any more.”
Image: Bildgebende_Moments; Pixabay
Hair cuts
Request from Child #Two:“Mom, so school has started and I think I’d like a haircut – can we please go to the hairdresser this week?”
Comment (Out loud): “Hmmmmmmm…. (while waving around a tin of beans) Please ask your grandmother to take you…?”
Request from Child #One (a few days later): “Hey mom, can I also get my hair cut please? And I’m thinking of maybe cutting it really short again; what do you think?”
Comment (Out loud): “You know, you’ve spent the whole of last year growing it out… it would be such a shame to stop now, don’t you think…?”
Request from Child #One (a few days later): “Hey mom, so I’m back at school now and I think I’m finally over growing my hair after all – it’s a pain tying it up every day – can I get my hair cut soon please after all?”
Comment (Out loud): “My sweetheart, are you quite, quite sure you want to cut it after all that time growing it out? Yeeeees? You’re quite sure…? Okay (while waving around another tin of beans), please ask your grandmother…”
Image: Jackmac24, Pixabay
So there you have it – levity aside, I’m thrilled that my boys are back at their school, for which I have the highest regard. One of the main reasons I work as hard as I do is to give them a great education, and I couldn’t be happier with their teachers and the culture of the school in general, not to mention the academic standard.
Matthew is in Grade 10 this year (Standard 8, as it was known in the ancient ways), while Liam is in Grade 12 (Standard 10) and will write his Matric exams in November. It’s a milestone year indeed, and it’s arrived so fast!
Pause for nostalgia and a quick trip down memory lane, when they both were in primary school elsewhere… As they say in the classics: “Don’t they grow up so fast?”
Pause to wipe small tear surreptitiously from right eye.
January 2014: Liam, Grade 3 and Matthew, Grade 1August 2015: School projects: Liam is in Grade 4 and Matthew in Grade 2January 2015: Liam, Grade 4 and Matthew, Grade 2
Anyway, fast-forwarding back into 2023: now that we can all breathe again – at least for the moment – I can look back and acknowledge that the back-to-school planning this year definitely seemed a little more manic than usual, and the Janu-Worry elements kicked in quite hard.
I do think it still had a lot to do with ongoing post-Covid economics.
I venture to say – with a little additional cautious optimism – that there are definitely some green shoots coming through in my working world, but some of them still seem to be in the woods, and not in my particular front garden.
But I live in hope, and with a metaphorical watering can in my hand – as well as a head that is always planning my next move.
Image: Jill Wellington, Pixabay
Now: a small request to the universe follows.
If we could just please stop at Janu-Worry in the next short while, without entering its follow-up cruel step-sister month known as Febru-Worry, I will be perfectly content, and ready to tackle the rest of 2023 in due course.
And perhaps broaden the dinner menu once again.
Image: Crafthouse, Pixabay
Editor’s note:
The above is a more-or-less accurate depiction of recent events, although a small amount of artistic licence may have been allowed in the interests of storytelling.
It is an indisputable fact, however, that more baked beans than usual have featured in the family’s recent menu planning.
There are days when I miss my late dad – who was famous, amongst other things, for never losing his broad Scottish accent despite leaving his homeland as a young man – with a pain so acute that it’s tempting to simply try not to think of him too much.
Sometimes it’s really hard.
Sometimes I simply can’t believe – still – that he is no longer here.
I remember that my dad had a great appreciation for the simple things in life. While always careful not to over-indulge, he enjoyed good food, and as a moderate drinker, he often took some time out for a sundowner at the end of the day, while watching the sky change colour as day turned into night.
Usually it was with a Bells, but my dad was open-minded. Guinness, lager and wine were not turned down, and he preferred his beverages to be classic.
In these moments when I feel his loss all over again, I’ve found that playing Scottish rock music is helpful: as loudly as possible, and preferably while driving quite fast in my beloved Panda.
And at those times, my chosen band is Runrig.
I may be the only person in South Africa who knows about them (seriously), but they surely have a following in Scotland, where they had a career that spanned about 30 years.
I discovered them when I was in my early twenties and had headed off to the UK for a while, after I’d finished my studies.
Going to the UK was, of course, all about exploring my roots, before I eventually returned to South Africa and began crafting the beginnings of my career.
Having been born in Scotland, I naturally went there first.
I worked in a holiday camp for a while, in my mum and dad’s old stomping grounds in Ayrshire. I started out as a cleaner on the night shift (working midnight to 07:00), before I was promoted to being a waitress in the restaurant.
Hand on heart, I can truthfully acknowledge that I’m really a better cleaner than I am a waitress (or barmaid, also – apparently I talk to the customers too much).
But anyway. I tried, truly…
While I was in Scotland I discovered the music of Runrig. It’s been a joy in my life ever since.
And to my father’s secret delight, I brought the band’s music back to South Africa, when I returned to my parents’ home for a while until I found my feet, and moved out in due course to become ‘an adult’.
I remember him chortling once (my dad was also famous for chortling when he laughed) and saying to me, after I’d been playing their music again (loudly, of course, and funnily enough he never complained when it was Runrig):
“You know, that chuchter from the Highlands has quite a nice voice!”
A chuchter, or ‘teuchter’, is a Lowland Scots word used to describe a Scottish Highlander, in particular a Gaelic-speaking Highlander.
My dad was right on the money there, because Runrig are also renowned for singing in Scottish Gaelic.
“Welcome to Scotland” sign showing saltire flag emblem at roadside on Scotland/England border. Gaelic translation “Failte gu Abla” shown underneath in yellow text.
When I’m listening to their Gaelic songs in my car, it sometimes makes me want to keep on driving north, criss-crossing a couple of continents as required, without stopping until I’m in the Highlands, staring out at the wind-lashed North Sea and feeling the salty spray on a face that is otherwise more used to protecting itself from the African sun.
.
But of course the moments pass, and I always turn back home.
I was sitting outside recently, at the end of a long working day, and enjoying a glass of wine while looking up at the southern African evening.
Our back garden at twilight is framed by a big sky, for which I’m always grateful, and it has quite magical overtones, in the right light, of seeming to be somewhere in the African bush.
There are Loeries and Yellow Weaver birds occupying themselves busily in the fever tree higher up the garden, and nearby Hadedas, those well-loved comedians of the Johannesburg bird world, shouting their raucous lullabye to the setting sun (sometimes on our roof, when they sound even louder than usual).
Hadedas (or the Common Ibis, to give them their scientific name) don’t have much in their vocal repertoire other than an astonished or, better yet, annoyed-sounding ‘HAAAAHHHHH!’, usually repeated multiple times.
Hadeda Ibis shouting at each other on a suburban roof
Anyway, it’s a continent away from where my mum and dad came from originally (and me too, actually).
If you look closely, you can spot the Weaver Bird nests and the Loeries munching on berries. The Hadedas are currently on the roof overhead (shouting, of course), and therefore not in this picture
But even under this African twilight, the memories of my dad, the transplanted, talented, hard-working Scottish engineer, are never too far away in these peaceful moments.
And yes: the moments, funnily enough, are peaceful even when the Hadedas are shouting overhead. It’s hard to explain if you haven’t met Hadedas before.
And so this next song is for you, my dad, because as that chuchter from the Highlands has explained, so tunefully:
“There must be a place Under the sun Where hearts of olden glory Grow young.”
I miss you still, so much – we all do.
And so cheers to you, my dad: ‘Slangevar.’
To you, sundowners, hadedas and loud Scottish rock.
And of course for auld lang syne.
Runrig
‘Hearts of olden glory’
There’s thunder clouds Round the hometown bay As I walk out in the rain Through the sepia showers And the photoflood days
I caught a fleeting glimpse of life And though the water’s black as night The colours of Scotland Leave you young inside
There must be a place Under the sun Where hearts of olden glory Grow young
There’s a vision coming soon Through the faith That cleans your wound Hearts of olden glory Will be renewed
Down the lens Where the headlands stand I feel a healing Through this land A cross for a people Like wind through your hands
There must be a place Under the sun Where hearts of olden glory Grow young
Some years ago, I started this blog initially to record family events, so there would be a record of some of life’s significant moments, especially considering how fast children grow up. And so here is the fourth part of my catch-up, dedicated to my family, especially my beloved children, Liam and Matthew.
With love
Your mum
Xx
[Editor’s note: Not all details of the year are included but it gives us all a good snapshot, especially of some of the key moments]
2018
Introduction: A quick scene-setting paragraph for Liam and Matthew
We waved goodbye to 2017 and began 2018 with a trip to the South Coast, Kwa-Zulu Natal, with a really enjoyable stay in Scottburgh. It was wonderful to have a seaside holiday again; it had been a while.
Having spent many childhood holidays in Scottburgh myself, as well as camping trips with your dad before you both came along, I always remember this little seaside town very fondly. It has a fantastic bay for swimming in, and for families in general to enjoy.
In 2018, my beloved boys, you were in Grade 7, Liam, and your last year of primary school (12 turning 13 in April), and Matthew, you were in Grade 5 (10 turning 11 in August).
As a Grade 7 child, and now in the senior class, Liam, you were finally wearing the coveted blazer, trousers (‘long pants!’) and shirt with tie, rather than the more casual and practical uniform of all the younger children. May I just say that neither one of you was interested in posing for this photo here on the first day of school!
Your dad was working at the SABC, and I was settling into my second year of working from home, which had me becoming more entrenched in the worlds of engineering and IT clients, with our exhibition client also adding significant variety. In the photo below I am checking out some spy glasses at a security show we were involved in. It was super-interesting: James Bond-style gadgetry in real life. The mind boggles…
Life as a mom who was working from home continued to be a pleasant mixture of at-home time (luckily I’m usually quite disciplined) with just enough client meetings to make me tug on my corporate outfits from time to time.
As far as the animals were concerned, we began 2018 with darling Sasha, Nickelback and Lucy in our midst, together with the kitties: Sisha and Feisty, our two tabbies, and Mischief, the panther-in-disguise (in her mind) but also known (perhaps a little unkindly) as The Fat One to the Hoo-mins.
Lucy our Rough Collie was to turn one around April 2018 (and she decided at around the same time that she was now the Alpha dog in training). Poor Nickelback. He never stood a chance at being Number One, did he?! He is just usually far too polite and obliging.
In one of her favourite places – catching the breeze in front, at the top of the stairs where it’s cool and shadyTop Dog in Training. Having a long nose to look down is helpful.
Feisty was starting to become a Tame Tiger and was getting much less skittish. For some reason, the more you two boys grew taller, the more she trusted you and allowed you to cuddle her. She was extremely wary of you both when you were still small – she did not understand Hoo-mins in miniature sizing. Here she is posing with some treasured soft toys, pretending to be an ornament.
Anyway my boys, without further ado: read on for the story of 2018.
xx
Highlights from 2018:
January
Life’s a beach… for a short happy while, life was a tale of sun, sea and sand, interspersed with time-out back at our welcoming holiday flat, pleasant outings up and down the coast, great food and drinks, and a little spot of sunburn, which we soothed with aloe vera gel and black tea – and TLC. Isn’t it lucky that mom drinks tea as her preferred beverage over coffee? You can’t soothe sunburn with coffee grounds!
The children take a break from playing in the waves with yummy potato sticksThe pleasant view from our flatMorning teaOver to the right (looking further south) is the main beach – walking distance actually, with the Cutty Sark Hotel along the wayMatthew is deep into his drawing phase hereFrank and I went back to an old favourite local seafood supplier for some really great prawns! Here, Liam (for once smiling and showing a brief glimpse of his braces) is learning from dad how to prep them.Mouthwatering!Some time-out at the Blue Marlin – Matthew is taking a re-fuelling break from the trampoline; Liam is still busy on it.Still at the Blue Marlin – Frank is growing his hair out and you can see it blowing in the strong breeze!Me at the Blue Marlin – same breeze blowing my earrings while supping a civilised early evening glass of dry white wineOh dear – sunburn strikes. Black tea + aloe vera-infused wetwipes + TLC is required for MatthewSunburn strikes twice – same remedy as above for Liam, but this time with a comic book added inAll good things must come to an end: the long trip home!
And so we returned home, and settled into the work and school routines after a great holiday.
February
Liam sat the De La Salle entrance exam, and passed with flying colours. His future high school – at a good school with great values and an excellent academic record – was now assured, much to his parents’ relief. Here he is on the day of the tests and interview, feeling nervous but looking polished. (He’s into his second year of braces, though, so no smiling.) His whereabouts in Grade 8 in 2019 was now one less thing to worry about.
April
Frank is normally camera-shy so let me post a photo of him here in my parents’ garden while the opportunity presents itself:
Frank. Coffee. The swing that my dad built for his grandchildren
Similarly, I don’t always take photos of my mom very often, so let me post this lovely photo of her with her friend Mavis, Liam and Matthew, at the end of mass one evening.
Here are some photos of the boys reading – I’m posting them because it makes my heart happy! Of course, it all begins with a parent setting a good example…
Just back from the library – I think we have enough books nowMatthew reading on the top bunkLiam looking quite grown-up!Having their breakfast – including food for the mind – before school
Liam’s birthday – April
On 28 April 2018, Liam turned 13, and as he was beginning to feel confident on a skateboard…
…it was his fervent heart’s desire to receive an awesome bespoke skateboard from Alpha Longboards, Cape Town.
This was achieved with much secrecy and downlight telling of lies on the part of both his parents, thanks to his dad’s efforts during a work trip to the Mother City a few weeks before.
It really is an awesome board!
Now everyone in the family has a skateboard except mom…
Poor mom. It really is a boys’ house these days.
But that’s okay, I have my bike.
Click here to link to a cute video, courtesy Frank
May
In May we spent a happy day at the annual De La Salle highland gathering. It was nice knowing that this would be Liam’s high school the following year.
I used to do highland dancing when I was in primary school and I do love pipe bands. I basically sat down on the grass and listened to them for almost the entire afternoon – I hardly moved from my spot! My kind family members brought me food and beverages where I sat peacefully listening. I can truthfully say that it was food for my soul. I was born in Scotland, after all.
This is called a front-row seat! I am also super-chuffed to think that this is going to be Liam’s high school from 2019.
Also in May, work took me once again to the 2018 A-OSH EXPO event at Gallagher Convention Centre for three days: a premier occupational health and safety trade event organised by our client, Specialised Exhibitions Montgomery.
I do like writing the articles before, during and after this annual event. There are always such interesting things to experience and the content from the presentations is world-class.
June: my birthday month
In June, I had a significant birthday and I can only say that I was spoiled far and wide by family and friends, for about two weeks in total! Thank you, everyone! It truly was memorable.
My birthday began with a sneak preview at the Westcliff a short while before the actual date, thanks to the renowned generosity of Mike and Jane, who were visiting from England. It was a wonderful spoil!
(With really grateful thanks here to Frank, for keeping the home fires burning so I could enjoy some first-class luxury and a wonderful time-out.)
It tasted as good as it looked!Enter the VAJJMW gang. Not many vowels, but we forged ahead nonetheless.Champagne at sunset with a world-class viewAnne and Viv on the balcony with morning teaTwo of the most generous people one could be lucky enough to call friends – Jane and Michael
On my actual birthday, which was on a Thursday that year, I was again truly grateful for the two best gifts I’ve ever received: my children.
I took the day off work and began it with a lie-in, which itself is a gift on a weekday morning when one is normally roaring around on the school run and/or getting ready for work!
If there was ever an Olympics event for sleeping in, Matthew and I would both be strong medal contenders
When it’s cold outside (it is winter after all), it is best to stay in bed for as long as possible. Matthew fully endorses this philosophy. He came to say happy birthday, and stayed for a while.
Not a morning person, really…
Liam is very good and mature at getting ready in the mornings. Much more than his mother (even on a normal day!).
Thank you, Lorna, from across the miles! Rocky inspects (at my mum’s houseAt the movies with all my boys, big and small, for my family birthday event.
Going to see The Incredibles 2 was enormous fun and I am a big fan of Elastigirl.
She, too, is a working mom who juggles home and career and quite literally stretches herself in all directions – teehee…
Liam here is aged 13 and Matthew is almost 11. I’m not telling you how old I am.Most of the gift bags came from Frank, who seriously outdid himself this year!
Thanks to my friends, my birthday this year seemed to go on for about two weeks…!
The Asian experience: lunch at Saigon Suzy with LouiseI would go to Saigon Suzy any day just for the beautiful murals! But it helps that the food is awesome, too.
Louise introduced me to Saigon Suzy – what a treat!
Cocktails with Tracy and Clarissa and Suki (who is not reflected here)
Tracy, Clarissa and Sue-Ann decided to go with cocktails and of course photography moments..
Friends since SABC radio news days!
When Suki and I go to Tracy and Clarissa’s home, everyone gets to play with the retro Polaroid camera. Nobody ever knows if the photo will actually come out, and the anticipation is out of this world. The Burrows ladies tell us it’s art… I am not so sure this description can always be applied! But it’s huge fun.
The anticipation is out of this world – and technology moves us retrograde…
And finally – the joint annual birthday celebration with Anne, Mel and me. This year it was in Melville, at Love Me So, for cocktails and ramen noodles. Delicious on all counts!
Happy birthday (slightly in advance) to Anne!Happy birthday (slightly after the event) to Mel!Happy birthday (again) to me, and *could* my cocktail be any more blue?!!Happy birthday to us all!
And so ended a really wonderful extended birthday.
June: goodbye, darling Sasha
I do need to add in here, for the records, that sadly our darling Sasha finally left us, five days after my birthday, on 26 June 2018. She was with us for almost 12 years and we loved her dearly. She was truly a gem – don’t let anyone ever tell you that Dobermanns are not family dogs: in my opinion, it is an outrageous slur!
I was fortunate to enjoy the experience of having a Dobermann in our family when I was a child growing up myself, and then to have the joy of Sasha with us when Liam and Matthew were small, only reinforces my opinion that Dobermanns are wonderful dogs: intelligent and caring at the same time, as well as good-mannered! Her final departure, after a year of bravely fighting cancer in her right back leg, was peaceful and at the right time. We loved her so very much.
The day before. You can see it in her eyes as she lies on her cushion just a few metres away from my office space inside. My beloved girlie…The cushion was empty now and our hearts were very sad. We shed many tears. She was a wonderful girl and a family guardian to the core.
When the children were little, Sasha thought of them as being her puppies too – she adored the babies, and together we shared them. Not once was she ever anything other than gentle and kind with the children.
We miss you, Dobie Darling, so much, but we imagine you now running again like the wind, up where all the good dogs go (and seriously, is there ever an innately bad dog?). I also imagine you playing again with Frodo, and getting love and head scratches from my dad.
Sasha and Baby LiamSasha and Baby Matthew
July
July was… cold.
July in Johannesburg is always cold.
Here are some quick snap-shots from what I always believe is our coldest month.
Working at home does not come with air conditioning!A rare glimpse of my 13-year-old sleeping, looking a lot younger than normal, and entirely angelicWhen you wake up one morning as it’s finally July school holidays… and discover your boys at the end of your bed, having coloured their hair…Matthew in particular really enjoyed having blue hair!
August
During August, at least the weather was starting to warm up a bit.
Here are Liam and Matthew at their then-favourite restaurant, the Ocean Basket
And now for a little tale of a science project: I came home one day to find my hairdryer smashed to smithereens. It turned out that the boys, big and small, were after the hairdryer’s motor for a science project. Aha!
My hair dryer. In bits. Smashed into bits. Ergo, an ex-hairdryer…The culprits who smashed my hairdryerThe culprits with an interested small accomplice
They did a great job, and Liam got a really good mark on the final project – ‘From hair with flair’ – for transforming kinetic energy into electricity. I helped with the creation of the presentation booklet, and we recycled the painting from a previous school project…. just to be ironic.
If you look carefully, you can also spot the remains of a coffee bodum. This item was at least already previously deceased before it was recycled…
Some time in August, Matthew was turning 11 (on 27 August), which was about to put our small one firmly in the tweens age! While he is known for having a personal art bag filled with pens, pencils, paper and other arty ‘stuff’, he took to the laptop to design his forthcoming birthday event invitation.
Matthew created his own birthday invitations
In the meantime, on the same day, Liam, who is normally king of the computer, had decided that he *could* tackle painting after all. (But when in doubt, do consult YouTube!) … And so this is him designing a new cover for his notebook. It was a peaceful, pleasant, slightly topsy-turvy morning.
Matthew’s birthday – 27 August
Matthew’s 11th birthday was on a Monday so we went out for cake the day before, and off to Bounce the next weekend with Liam and a few friends. Sadly we didn’t take any photos at Bounce – our bad – but here are a few pics of the cake and presents moments.
Matthew likes chocolate cakeLiam likes lemon meringue pieCake for everyone!Coffee and cake – two of life’s great joysSomething is amusing Liam – is there cake on my face?Dad is still growing his hairSkull candy + video games + Ferraris = Matthew’s passion!Liam also gave the skull candy his seal of approval
September: Frank’s birthday month
Unfortunately some of the photos here are very soft-focus, but Frank was especially touched by the gifts from his two boys, who each gave him a painting that they had created themselves.
Presents!From LiamLiam’s painting – new worlds and galaxiesFrom MatthewMatthew’s painting: “Just like Batman and Spider-Man you are my hero!”Big and SmallLove you, Dad…Peaceful and content…
Some more snapshots from September:
Here we see signage that represents a public service announcement in our house, meaning that the bathroom was currently occupied… by a gigantic rain spider that nobody wanted to disturb. As usual, it was left to Dad to carry out his humane catch-and-release policy.
Public service announcement“If tea can’t fix it; it is a serious problem.”
This is one of my personal mantras for life, together with: “In the morning, tea is my petrol. I can’t get started without it.”
October – First holy communion
On the 28th of October 2018, Liam and Matthew celebrated their first communion together.
Since then, they’ve become experienced altar servers, and are on first-name terms with our parish priest, who is one of the nicest and most down-to-earth men of the cloth you could hope to meet.
My mom, together with their catechism teachers, was especially instrumental in getting them to this important point.
On the 28th of October 2015, three years before this date in 2018, my beloved dad – father to my sister Lorna and myself, and husband of nearly 50 years to my mother, Linda – had passed away after his battle with motor neuron disease. I think this was truly the saddest day of my life.
So I post these photos here now, because I am happy that we have another family occasion to mark on this date every year that adds a happy memory onto the sad one.
Liam’s middle name is ‘Ralph’, after my late dad, and it so happened that this is how his catechism teacher organised the candle – to include his middle name on it as well as his first name. It made for a lovely and unexpected moment on the day itself, particularly because of the sad anniversary.
Matthew. on the other hand, has two middle names – he is Matthew Ian Daniel, after some very special men in my life and Frank’s: the late Ian Gillies, founder and owner of Giles Restaurant in Johannesburg, as well as the late Dr Ion Williams, the founder and owner of Vogelgat Nature Reserve in Hermanus, as well as my late Great Uncle Danny (Daniel Parry Jones), entrepreneur and businessman, and World War II naval survivor. So there wasn’t really room on the candle for Matthew’s middle names.
The candles are very special to me and have an important place in our home.
At first Liam and Matthew were immensely pleased with their new, grown-up grey trousers. And then they got itchy!
Here they are back at home with my mom, now in more comfortable clothes, and everyone can relax again.
November
In early November, we took the children to the rides at Gold Reef City for the first time. What a great day! Here are just a few snapshots.
Gold Reef City
Waiting for the Anaconda – mom and Liam went on the rideDad and Matthew said NO! to the Anaconda…!The log ride was fun though!So much fun!
Work hard, party hard
November was also party time on the work front. Nicky and I put on our glad-rags and attended a wonderful party in Pretoria hosted by a client.
Here you can see us before we went through, with our normal going-out makeup on…
Normal makeup…
…and here we are with slightly less normal makeup on, afterwards.
Really impressive technique and artistry from our chosen face painter
We could choose from about five face painters there at the event; we really got lucky with how talented and enthusiastic our lady was.
Here is my dolphin mask in more detail
I just loved what the face painter did! It is quite a strange feeling to have your face turned into the canvas.
An Owl Story
And also in November, we met the owls…
We saw these actual little owls at an owl talk at Delta Park Environmental Centre on 17 November. They are so small and beautiful. Matthew, our family owl enthusiast, was in love, and Liam not far behind!
All the other children in the audience were also in their element. The owls were not at all stressed, and very well looked after. It was a real treat to attend! The educational and entertainment values were phenomenal. It was a really worthwhile evening. owlproject.org.
So pretty! So completely un-stressedHere is Matthew from behind. You can see how small the owls are, and how all the children are completely enraptured!
December: farewell primary school and hello again to Christmas
After seven years, which went by unbelievably quickly, Liam finished Grade 7 and said goodbye to primary school in December 2018. When we included the four years that he’d also spent prior to Grade 1 in nursery school, it seemed like even more of a milestone. I suppose it was bittersweet, as these moments always are: he had arrived as a very young child, and was now leaving, having entered his early teens. From not-quite baby to young man, it was a significant time frame.
The school hall was beautifully decorated for the graduation ceremony
I will never forget my mind’s eye view of little Liam (in January 2012) aged seven, going off onto the primary school playground in his brand-new school uniform for the first time, as I watched forlornly from the sidelines and wiped away a surreptitious tear.
I think it is fair to say that he had some difficult moments during his primary school years, as well as some corresponding highlights, and that he finished with his head held high. Looking back, I can only shake my head with a rueful smile and say that – in his mother’s opinion – Liam did not like studying much in a formal manner during primary school! This scenario was not improved when he seemed to find out early on that he had enough brain cells stuffed inside his skull cavity to ‘coast’ very well!
Nonetheless, we are very proud of his academic achievements overall, as well as his spirited moments on the cricket, hockey and football fields as a team player throughout these early years.
Liam also had some notable moments of excellence – and one particular triumph, in Grade 6 – with his dramatic performances in the annual National Eisteddfod, after which he was invited to repeat this same Eisteddfod speech on national television. (The speech, a very moving one, was about Steve Biko, one of South Africa’s heroes and martyrs in the years before we had a democratic South Africa.)
In addition to his strong performance, as measured by his certificates record, Liam also won the overall prize for Computers in Grade 5, and achieved an outstanding result for an outside exam in English that same year. My oldest son likes to hide his light under a bushel sometimes…
As 2018 ended, we were very grateful to his primary school for its unfailingly kind and caring teachers and support staff – with their strong work and fun ethics, and emphasis on academic excellence – while also being excited about his entry into high school the following year.
Our good-looking eldest son is becoming a young man
And so onto Christmas 2018…
First we put up the tree, which we usually do around about the 16th of December. It’s always a day I really enjoy.
This year, Liam and Matthew had really wanted some beanbags for their den – which I call the Man Cave – in our cottage. I struggled to find some, I must confess, and then found some being sold at the side of the road on my way back from a client meeting, one day in early December.
They were affordable and the colours were great for our boys – one blue and one black – so a deal was struck then and there, and I was able to drive home from one of my last meetings of the working year with the two gifts for Liam and Matthew that I had most wanted to find.
However, buying them was one thing but getting them into my little car was another task entirely – in comparison to my Panda, they suddenly looked absolutely enormous! I honestly don’t how the vendor got them into the back of my car, but he was grimly determined to make the sale!
They sat in the back of the Panda looking like strange alien life forms and taking up the entire back seat, so I instantly christened them Tweedledum and Tweedledee. They were so gigantic I couldn’t see out of my rearview mirror and had to use my wing mirrors during the drive home (quite disconcerting). When it was Frank’s turn to get them out on the other side of the journey, it was difficult! There was a lot of nervous laughter, mostly from me.
Tweedledum and Tweedledee were a bit squashed in the back seat, but their driver was pleasant and law-abiding.Stealth and subterfuge was required, and so Tweedledum and Tweedledee were in hiding for a while, before they supervised the wrapping of the other presents.At last the Tweedles……met their new owners……and all was peaceful and happy while the other gifts were introduced.The den was made complete by the cool new stuff……but the Tweedles are still the coolest of all.
How *did* they ever fit into my Panda?!!
Christmas is incomplete until we see my mom… and Rocky… and of course we raised a glass to my dad.
Squish on the couch!
Rocky was very happy because he got to play the Christmas version of his favourite game, Squish On The Couch. In our family, we like to point out that Rocky likes to smile, and laugh, as you can see here.
And so we moved towards the end of 2018 and closed off a busy year.
Next up: Grade 8 and high school for Liam, and Grade 6 for Matthew.
I used to like New Year’s Eve: a lot, and for many years, actually. There was a kind of magic to it, when I was younger.
And then Covid came along.
But before that, if I’m honest, I had already started believing less than I used to in the magical powers of the click-over from the 31st of December of one calendar year, to the first of January in the next.
The magical click-over from one year to the next
I think this realisation more than likely comes to most of us with time, and with growing older and wiser and perhaps (unfortunately) more cynical.
It also comes with life throwing curveballs at you, which sometimes turn out to be (apparently) individually-labelled hand grenades, and which appear to have your name written on them.
So there you are, naïvely thinking that you are simply catching a curveball, and preparing to deal with it appropriately (which is what adults are required to do) when… BOOM! some of your cherished hopes, plans and dreams start blowing up in front of your eyes.
Sometimes these hand grenade explosions also come with a long aftermath, which is the part that really annoys me. I don’t like long aftermaths, and yet sometimes, there they are, and there they stay.
Like horrible little garden trolls, as opposed to more friendly garden gnomes.
I like gnomes.
I don’t like trolls.
Gnomes good. Trolls bad!
Nonetheless, I am the self-proclaimed ‘Silver Linings Poster Child’ and so I intend to remain. (And jolly well sucks boo to you, curveballs!)
Ya sucks boo!
As the Silver Linings Poster Child, I (rather unusually) haven’t really made any new year’s resolutions this year. I have mainly planned to try and ‘keep on keeping on’ with my plans that are already in progress.
I also intend to carry on counting my blessings, of which I have many, starting always and forever with my beloved boys, Liam and Matthew (now 16 and 14 respectively), my other precious family members, my friends (you know who you are!), and not forgetting the fur-babies.
Matthew with a new young friend we met in the park (not our fur-baby)Liam with an old and well-loved friend in the background
I have lots of plans, and I’m also starting, once again, to entertain my dreams. I think I’ve also attained enough wisdom to finally start realising which plans and dreams are achievable, and which ones I need to gently – or maybe not so gently – wave goodbye to, permanently.
So all in all, I’m looking forward to 2022.
Here’s to achieving dreams and plans.
PS Okay here is an actual New Year’s Resolution from me: I shall carry on giving blood.
And (as ever) I plan to write more entries in my blog this year. I will try…
[Editor’s note: this was originally a short Facebook post but I thought I would add it to my blog platform as well, as part of the record of these Covid times.]
1. Pursue freelance opportunities (ongoing, I am open for business, people!)
2. Try to sell art (tick, no interest, apparently I am crap artist. I think I prefer ‘misunderstood’?)
3. Sell body (will have to dig short skirts and high heels out of mothballs and actually I think I have a headache…?)
4. Sell kidney (difficult market to get into I believe; dodgy market also; payment not always forthcoming within 30 days?)
5. Change country (note to self: time to renew my passport)
6. Change career (see 2 above)
7. Dog walking… (huh…. thereby maximising fitness regime with money-making possibilities!)
Big sigh.
Well, you know where I am, folks, if you need someone to write stuff. And draw stuff. And walk your dogs. Oh yes and I can also do calligraphy.
I think the only real option, as the virus continues ravaging populations and economies during 2021, is to remain grateful for the blessings in my life, and to continue believing that I can fly.
Mermaid, dolphin, moon: Oils on canvasDolphins: oils on canvasCalligraphy penLittle Liam: Calligraphy pen and eye shadow and pencil Little Matthew: Calligraphy pen and eye shadow and pencil Mother: Acrylics on boardMy version of Salvador Dali’s ‘Christ of St John of the Cross’: pencilsGrief: calligraphy penPeter Pan and Wendy: Calligraphy pen and eye shadow
I lost a friend to Covid-19 at the beginning of this year (12 January, 2021).
In losing him, I feel that I have also lost a significant part of my youth.
Eddie’s passing left many, many people utterly bereft, not least of all his wife and his close family, and the friends he was in contact with daily and weekly.
I personally didn’t see Eddie as often as I would have liked, as time moved on and we all grew up – but there are some friendships that never truly disappear. They are revived instantly and in a heartbeat: with a phone call, a quick coffee, a shared laugh, a get-together, a birthday party…
For me, Ed was rock-solid in a crisis, and he was always willing and able to play the role of affectionate, strong ‘big brother’ when I needed one.
I have two particularly important memories of him in this regard: one story was from our joint twenties, and one was far more recent.
Some friendships simply never go away.
I still have grief that I can hardly bear to speak aloud, which will obviously continue for a long, long time.
And so, in terms of dealing with my own sorrow, I wrote this poem for Eddie, and for all of us who were in ‘the crowd’ when I was in my twenties and early thirties.
(I finished it in early February but I’ve only been able to post it now.)
For those who knew and loved him, and who might be reading this now: I hope you will play the music at some point after you’ve read it, with a glass of wine, or other beverage of your choice.
And do raise a glass to include absent friends when you do so.
To absent friends, wherever you might be.
Just an ordinary, extraordinary group of friends
(A tale of youth, love and loss)
09 February 2021
1.
Enter Anne and Viv
And Eddie and Mike;
Ed was always
Brilliant on a bike;
Mel was there
With her laughing eyes;
She always stayed sober –
Sometimes very wise!
And so we began.
Friendships we forged
Separate and together
Destined to withstand
All kinds of weather:
With Wendy and ‘Cool Dude’
(A Michael decree)
We were hungry for life –
So young, and so free
In our tightly-knit clan.
2.
Rod, Sarah, Lorna
We also must name:
‘The crowd’ ebbed and flowed
It was never the same;
From Friday to Friday
We’d get in our cars
In our cheery old bangers
To cheerier bars
And the party went on.
Sometimes it was Ed’s place
Where we’d alight
Walter, schnapps, Lottie!
And the long, merry nights;
With our hopes and our dreams
And our hearts in our eyes
We talked and we shared
Always truths; never lies:
Unshakeable bonds.
3.
But it wasn’t just fun:
We grew up, year by year,
With studying, jobs
And travels to steer;
We weathered the partings,
Rejoiced in returns,
Sharing our news
And the things we had learned
Again and again.
Significant others
Began to appear,
Were absorbed in our group
With welcoming cheer;
Jane married Michael
And Wayne was for Mel,
Viv chose a news-man:
For years, things went well:
Sun, wind and rain.
4.
Ed was the latest
To choose to commit,
Melody entered:
Their hearts were a fit;
And so life went on,
And for long we were blessed
While we weathered life’s storms
And occasional tests
Or heart-breaking truths.
But whatever the fashion –
And might come in others –
The core was a constant:
Like sisters and brothers;
How lucky we were!
As we doubled twenty-five,
From across distant oceans
Our friendships still thrived
From the days of our youth.
5.
…And so, when Ed left us,
The earth quite stopped turning:
A terrible shock. I was
Left with the yearning
To turn back the clock
To make it not so;
To wake from the dream and say
“Why did he go…?
But wait! he’s still here!”
…But Ed… you are gone.
And in your wake
A tsunami of grief;
A force-10 earthquake.
You cycled, were fit…
Yet your heart gave in?
Your joyous laugh,
Irrepressible grin…
No longer, I fear.
6.
And is there a lesson?
I only feel grief.
And now, from my twenties,
My in-built belief
That we’d go on forever,
In thoughts always near
Is, quite simply, shattered:
For Ed is not here:
He’s at rest.
You had such a good heart;
Drew friends near and wide
And I now must believe
That your soul has arrived
At those bike gates so pearly
Where great cyclists go…
While we friends stay behind
And – for now – may not follow
You into the sunlit west.
Photo from the memorial bike ride for Eddie that same week
Roxy Music: Avalon
Noun, Celtic legend: an island, represented as an earthly paradise in the western seas, to which King Arthur and other heroes were carried at death.
Now the party’s over, I’m so tired Then I see you coming, out of nowhere Much communication, in a motion Without conversation, or a notion
Avalon
When the samba takes you, out of nowhere With the background fading, out of focus Yes the picture’s changing, every moment And your destination, you don’t know it
Avalon
When you bossa nova, there’s no holding But you have me dancing, out of nowhere
When the night has come And the land is dark And the moon is the only light we’ll see No I won’t be afraid No I won’t be afraid Just as long as you stand Stand by me
So darlin’, darlin’, stand by me Oh stand by me Oh stand Stand by me, stand by me
If the sky that we look upon Should tumble and fall Or the mountains should crumble to the sea I won’t cry, I won’t cry No I won’t shed a tear Just as long as you stand Stand by me
And darlin’, darlin’, stand by me Oh stand by me Oh stand now Stand by me, stand by me
Whenever you’re in trouble won’t you stand by me Oh stand by me Won’t you stand
Here in South Africa, in early March 2021, we are remembering one year of having Covid-19 officially in our country.
Please note: officially.
Of course, news of the virus around the world was already starting to break more than a year ago, and even as far back as late 2019 there were whispers, from informed sources, of a new and mysterious virus that seemed to be emanating from China.
So I thought it would be useful to look back on this unpleasant anniversary, which has changed the way that we live and work; think and operate; dream and hope… which has brought illness, death and deep sorrow to so many people around the world.
On Sunday 24 May 2020, after South Africa had experienced the first taste of the initial ‘hard’ lockdown, and we were all cautiously starting to venture back into the world again to run errands, I went to a nearby shopping mall with my then 12-year-old son.
After we’d finished with our tasks, we walked to the other side of the mall to look at the small aquarium in the shopping centre, which is about 4 metres deep and holds some mostly-small and pretty sea fish.
As someone who lives in an inland city, I like going to this little aquarium whenever I’m in this particular mall (which isn’t often), because it reminds me of my aspirations to go on a family holiday to an island one day.
I want my children to be able to personally discover some of the ocean’s wonders for themselves, through snorkelling and scuba diving. It’s a huge thing on my bucket list.
That day, in the centre, Matthew and I were the only ones at the mini-aquarium, and the experience was peaceful and pleasant.
But when we got home again I started wondering – as I have done before – what is the true nature of the virus that is currently ravaging human life around the world?
And so a little poem arrived in my head.
You are welcome to share the poem – I ask only that you be respectful of copyright, and credit me as the author:
This time last year, the buzz phrase everywhere was all about ‘2020 Vision’. To be honest, it was a bit of a cliché before the year had even opened, in fact.
I think the gods of grammar, and specifically the lesser-known deities of good similes and metaphors, took offence.
I have visions of the panoply of grammar-nerd gods and goddesses – those in charge of reading, writing and generally being creative – sitting up on high during a heavenly deities’ party.
They are seated on a temporary cloud in the form of a stack of virtual papyrus rolls – created specifically for the occasion to show how clever and whimsical they can be – drinking the Nectar of the gods while celebrating Zeus’s birthday.
I have additional visions of them becoming, in due course, slightly plastered, as this Nectar is like a cross between champagne in taste, and 80-proof whisky in effect (or so I believe is mentioned somewhere in the theology books).
(As minor deities, they don’t tend to get invited very often to the big occasions, so their tolerance of the Nectar of the gods is a bit lower than some of the major deities – Dionysus in particular, with Apollo, who also likes a party, not far behind.)
Once the Nectar has taken hold amongst the minor grammar deities, certain mutterings began to set in.
“Oh no no no – the imagination in these mortals is completely lacking – dear me!”
“My esteemed colleagues, this simply will not do – clearly we are failing in our designated area!”
“We need to work on something to bring back creativity and make mortals once again read more…”
And so on.
Thereafter (I imagine), their designated leader (the minor god of The Promotion of Good Similes and Imaging) would have stood up, with only a tiny stifled hic to mar the gravitas.
“Time to see the big guns, ladies and gents. We minor gods need to have a say on the revolvings of the planet once in a while, don’t you think?”
“Hear hear!”
“Bravo!”
“Rah-rah, what!”
“Hic!”
“I say, pardon you!”
And thereafter, hitching up his toga in a business-like manner, the minor god of The Promotion of Good Similes and Imaging would have trotted off, with just a slight leaning over to one side, to see the Big Guns: Zeus, Hera, Poseidon, Demeter, Athena, Apollo, Artemis, Ares, Hephaestus, Aphrodite Hermes and Dionysus – the Special 12 who live on Mount Olympus.
“Zeus, oh great lord: permission to approach and request a boon? Oh yes and happy birthday my lord, we brought you a book on lightning. The photos are lovely, as of course they would be: thunder and lightning being one of your special domains.”
“Splendid, dear fellow, splendid,” says Zeus, who is now nicely mellow from the Nectar. “Yes, yes, come hither. How may I be of assistance?”
Thereafter a low conversation, with a few snatches reaching the ears of the other Special 11, none of whom really care, to be honest. (These minor gods can be a bit earnest, what, and it is a party after all.)
“Not reading enough, my lord… clearly… creativity failing… such a MUNDANE call to arms! Consequences… encourage a re-boot…”
And finally, from Zeus, who wants to get back to his Nectar and have a good chat with Dionysus, who, unlike Hera,his long-suffering wife, never accuses him of drinking too much but is always good for another round, “Yes, yes, dear fellow – make it so! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I just need a quick word with the lads over there…”
Exit the minor god of The Promotion of Good Similes and Imaging, back to his peers to call a business meeting on having ‘One year in which to make the mortals read more, so that the rallying cries of the future become less obvious and more imaginative’.
And the rest, as we say, is history.
And thus it was ‘Goodbye 2020 Vision’ and ‘HELLO Year of the Global Pandemic’.
Oh dear.
But now, thankfully, it’s finally goodbye.
Goodbye 2020 Vision. You never really stood a chance, eh?
And I know that the pandemic is still with us, and will be so for some time, but at least as a species we do, finally, seem to be taking it seriously.
Let’s move forward, together, and take more care of the planet during 2021 and ever after and, as a consequence, each other.
PS: “Make it so”: a truly great line – now THERE’S creativity and pithy prose for you! As some of my gentle readers will know, Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise was savvy enough to make this saying his own during his travels through space in the 24th Century.
Here’s to a 2021 which will be so much better than 2020, because together we will all… make it so.
A long time ago, I started this blog initially to record family events, so there would be a record of some of life’s significant moments, especially considering how fast children grow up. And so here is the third part of my catch-up, dedicated to my family, especially my beloved children, Liam and Matthew.
With love
Your mum
Xx
[Editor’s note: Not all details of the year are included but it gives us all a good snapshot, especially of some of the significant moments]
2017
We kicked off January 2017 with a drive to Hartebeespoort Dam on a really hot 2 January. We rode up the cable way to the top of the mountain, where we walked around and had a bite to eat, and then went back down and drove around the dam.
The dam was a heart-sore at the time, being very polluted, and with vast areas of the water surface choked under invasive hyacinths. It was another reminder that as a family, we need to continue being as vigilant as possible at home in terms of how we personally use and care for our natural resources.
The rampant, out-of-control hyacinths were a heartsore
The cable way, on the other hand, and all the facilities at the top, were really impressive. Looking out over the Hartebeespoort dam area and the surrounding mountains stretching to the distance is always a treat for the eyes.
A spectacular view from the cableway
The boys enjoyed the still relatively new cable way, although they were rather unimpressed at having to wait in the long queue before we could get into the cable car. To humour me, they sat in the old cable car that’s on display at the bottom. Looking at the old one, I was quite glad that the cars have since been upgraded – the original model does look pretty rickety these days!
The children were not terribly impressed with the long queue
The old cablecars look a bit rickety today…
On a different note, here I am in late February 2017, having just had my nose zapped again. It’s a semi-recurrent bothersome little melanoma, which is even more reason why these days, I happily embrace not being a sun-bunny. Luckily my latest round of treatment wasn’t as painful as the first time, a couple of years previously, when my nose swelled up to twice its normal size and made me look like a very unhappy clown.
Remember the sunblock, everyone, because our southern African sun is not to be trifled with.
A small bothersome recurrent melanoma
In March 2017, the boys and I went back to the Joburg Zoo after our previous visit in December 2016, this time with their dad in tow. So here comes a disclaimer.
[Disclaimer:]
I believe that zoos can play a real role in the global conservation of threatened animals, and help to educate sometimes ignorant humans about the other creatures with which we share our planet.
The key principle, of course, is making sure that the animals are treated with respect, understanding and compassion, and sadly there are many zoos in the world that are simply prisons for their poor unfortunate inmates – which is in itself the real crime. Today, I am particularly saddened by the elephant situation at the Johannesburg Zoo, and unsure when I will visit again.
More positively, I do note, however, that besides its breeding programmes, the Johannesburg Zoo has also played a role in recent years in drawing attention to the scourge of poaching. On a previous school trip for Matthew and his classmates, when the children were all still in nursery school, we were introduced to a wounded black rhino that had been injured by poachers and left for dead. The zookeepers were not only healing the poor female rhino in a safe place but were also, in the process, educating young school children in their thousands about the horrors of poaching, and why it is wrong.
And so I’m well aware right now that the presence of zoos in the world is a controversial topic that is too long to unpack and discuss now.
[End disclaimer]
On a lighter note: this particular visit to the zoo saw a version of the age-old nature story playing out in our family also, namely ‘The Young Buck versus the Old Buck’, with Liam and Frank running an impromptu obstacle race up the hill. Time to lace up those running shoes again Frank, to keep ahead of the young ‘uns?!! They are getting bigger and stronger and fitter by the day!
Liam is off to a flying start
Dad is catching up!
Did Frank let Liam win? Hmmm…
We also introduced Frank to the Amazon section, and spent quite a lot of time there. It’s very restful, especially when you are on the right side of the glass from the innocuous looking but deadly piranhas…
Watch out for the piranhas behind you!
Reclining in the Amazon section
Not to be outdone…
Reclining on mom
Also in March 2017, we met a little furry darling who was going to become the next member of our household. There is nothing quite like going to the dentist for a routine appointment and being offered a puppy – or does this happen to everyone?
In this case, the puppy in question was a Rough Collie, aka a Lassie collie, and as you can see it was love at first sight.
It was NEVER going to be easy to say no…!
All because Liam had to have some pre-braces dentistry work done…
We had to wait for our puppy to grow a bit before we could collect her and bring her home, in late April. Having arrived with what was still a fairly short nose, she rapidly started growing her long Collie snout and incredibly thick fur, which we think makes her look like a Womble.
Furry and round with a very long nose – it must be a Womble!
I quite fancied calling her ‘Orinoco’, after the brilliant Wombles children’s books and TV series, but the children permuted ‘Lassie collie’ into ‘Lucy collie’. As Matthew likes to say, if she’d been a boy dog, she would have been a Laddie collie…
Today, she is very busy and lively and brings us all great joy. She bosses our Labrador, Nicky, around all day long and thinks that the three cats are her sheep. She has clearly never heard the expression ‘as difficult as herding cats’ because she never stops trying to pen them into corners of her choice. Occasionally she even succeeds.
Who said herding cats was easy?
And so we will be forever grateful to our beloved dentist, Dr Basil Brook, for bringing this delightful little furball into our home, and if you should ever need a good dentist just give me a call. But please note that the puppies, to date, have been a once-off at his practice.
A baby womble in training
On 28 April 2017, Liam turned 12 and chose to go bum-boarding again at Avalanche.
Liam’s happy place
Frank went bum-boarding too! My mom and I were happy to watch, and drink good coffee on the sidelines.
Matthew having fun with his dad
The ladies in the group stayed off the slopes and drank coffee
Here come some notes about my work now.
From 1 July 2016 till 30 April 2017 I was based in Bryanston, honing my knowledge of the financial services world. But I wasn’t seeing my children enough. I felt that it was time to remedy this, if possible.
Spot the photos of the children on my wall
And so, when a new opportunity arose, I began working from home in May 2017, and I now write mainly in the arenas of technology, engineering and events management. By and large, I seem to have a good mixture of being able to get on with my work at home, sprinkled with just enough client meetings and events to make me brush my hair and get dressed in decent clothes so I don’t look like a ‘skrik’ five days a week.
June 2017: at an occupational health and safety expo for which we write
Just kidding about being a skrik. And it’s great not having peak-hour traffic as a regular part of my life.
Cheers to less peak-hour traffic! November 2017
Working from home, after years in the corporate environment, brought some adjustments initially and its own set of challenges, but the benefits so far are significantly outweighing any odd moments I might have of missing office life.
One of the early challenges involved those occasions when I would run out of data while on a deadline to get an article to a client. Kudos here to Frank for sorting out uncapped wi-fi for us! The children are even more grateful than I am, I think – it’s opened up new access to technology. One must roll with the times (although they will always have a Mother Who Makes Them Read Books).
Thanks for the uncapped wi-fi, dad…
And I am also grateful for my job, which has brought me overall a little more firmly into the 21st century, including being able to say that today I am a tech writer as well as a financial services writer. I can tell you much more about cyber security than I used to, but please don’t ask me too many questions about the networking side of the business. That is very much the domain of the technologically-very-abled, and still brings me its own challenges.
Networking chit-chat? Talk to the hand!
Eventually I also achieved one of my initial work-life aims and started walking my boys to school some days. We were often running down the road more than walking, I must confess, but our collective time-keeping is getting better.
I like walking my young lads down the road to school in the morning, and I think they like it too (even though it’s usually preceded by a few moments of grumbling). It gives us some interesting moments of catch-up time in the middle of everyone’s busy lives.
Sometimes I turn into Momma Bear and yell at inconsiderate drivers who don’t acknowledge the zebra crossing we are attempting to navigate safely, and my children in uniform trying to get to school on foot. I have even been known to bang on the boot of a car whose driver chose to ignore us and roar instead through the four-way stop, in an effort to reach the Melville traffic lights a whole 47 seconds or so sooner than if they’d waited to let the children cross. Some people just shouldn’t be allowed behind the wheel of a car, if you ask me…
Pedestrian rage is something I’m learning to keep under control now (sometimes). I have moments of feeling mortified that my temper got the better of me, which can lead to interesting conversations about Being Considerate And Polite and Respecting Children’s Rights Too But Maybe Mom Shouldn’t Have Banged On The Car Boot And Scared The Bad Driver Like That. At least I admit my wrong-doings to my children. Most of the time.
One thing that was truly awesome during this new work phase was being at home to look after our darling Sasha. When I first started working from home in May 2017, our beloved Dobie Darling was about 11, which is a good age for a biggish dog, and the cancer in her right leg was on its way to announcing itself. In short, Sasha was getting old. Our beautiful girl, who had always regarded herself as being the children’s four-legged Other Mom…
Sasha and baby Liam
Sasha and baby Matthew
…needed a bit of cosseting and pampering at this stage of her old age, including sharing the drives to school and back when we weren’t walking, to give her some mental stimulation. I could never have done this if I was still working in a corporate office.
A bit of doggy mental stimulation while…
…Sasha joins the school run
Now that I was working from home most days, it was wonderful to be able to give Sasha that special care. I used to look up from my laptop and through the French doors, and it was heart-warming to see her comfortable and happy on her cushion just a couple of metres away. That was really a win-win.
Sasha passed away finally on 26 June 2018 (just five days after my birthday). We were with her till the end, and I am so grateful for the extra time I had with her. She was a truly special girl; enormously loved by all of us to the very end.
Let me rewind now to September 2017. We were so very proud of Liam the day he landed up presenting his Eistedfodd speech on live television, on 12 September 2017.
Live on national morning television!
This opportunity arose purely by chance because of Frank’s work. The day before, the SABC-2 Morning Live producers had been discussing the next day’s show and how to focus it on the 40th remembrance of Steve Biko’s death. Frank was in the meeting and mentioned out of interest that Liam’s pending Eisteddfod speech was about Steve Biko – his contribution to South Africa and his tragic death.
The producers thought it would be an excellent idea to bring Liam in – if he was okay with the idea. Our child was nervous at first but agreed. We also got permission from the school in advance. So Liam, then in Grade 6 and aged 12, presented his speech on Steve Biko on Tuesday morning 12 September 2017. He was understandably nervous at appearing on live television, but he came through with flying colours! It was a defining moment.
Frank, Matthew and I were sitting on the other side of the studio and looking at him through a glass window. He looked very small… but he rose to the occasion beautifully. After his speech, the entire studio crew broke into spontaneous applause. Here’s the link to watch it, and some stills below.
Looking smaller than usual…
…but so bravely composed
Late 2017 also saw both of our children going on school tour to KwaZulu-Natal: Liam in grade 6, for the second time; and Matthew’s first school tour, in grade 4. Seeing them off on the Shosholaza Mail train was hard. For the parents.
I seem to recall that both of our children, bursting with excitement, bounced through the gates to the platform without a second glance at their mother and father. Individual cell phones weren’t allowed, which meant that it was a long, strange week, with a remarkably silent house. Luckily the teachers sent through excellent group reports via WhatsApp on a daily basis.
Liam (now with braces) is packed and good to go
Matthew bounces away from his parents towards the train
The WhatsApp reports from the teachers were to prove incredibly necessary when, most unfortunately, the tour’s timing and itinerary coincided with a deadly hurricane that swept through KwaZulu-Natal, forcing some of the activities to be cancelled.
This, however, was the least of the parental worries as reports of casualties in the province started coming through. Fortunately the experienced tour guides and teachers kept our children safe, and their parents updated.
Additionally, our poor Liam also became really ill towards the end with a stomach bug. All in all, I suppose it was a good life experience but I think they were both very glad to come home. Certainly their parents were glad to fetch them from the airport! At least they had a little bit of beach time and experienced both the train there, and the plane back home.
After the tour, the year sprinted towards its end, as time ticked inexorably on. Karate lessons continued, exams were written, Christmas holidays came and went, and 2018 beckoned.
The boys take their karate very seriously
Grade 7 for Liam, and Grade 5 for Matthew, lay just around the corner.
To be continued into 2018…/more in my next blog entry
thoughtsfromthepanda 